Ah, The Work Version

• People who go out of their way to make other people unhappy.
• People who make snide comments and conduct secret meetings. Seems like if you have a really good case for something it will win out when you present it to any open audience.
• People who get away with not being productive and a general waste of money while others are being let go.
• People who eat other people's food that is stored in the public refrigerator.
• Toll roads

and just for good measure...

• Sarah Palin

Friends who go on vacation to Mexico

ahem. they know who they are...

Can I get that door for you?

You know who else I hate? People who do not thank you for holding a door open for you. It happened to me twice today and it just reminded me of how much I hate this. It makes me want to just shut the door behind me. Or stop them in the hall and ask them if their mama knows how rude they are.

Then there are those people who would rather stand next to a closed door and wait for someone else to open it rather than open one themselves. Or they will let a large group of people through one door and then walk through at the end rather than just opening the door next to it. I've seen it with my own two eyes. Spend 5 minutes at The Cheesecake Factory in Austin, Texas and I promise you that there will be people who wait around for someone to open the door for them rather than just doing it themselves. I'm not sure if it is a germ issue or just plain laziness. Maybe I will start asking people who stand there waiting for someone else to open the door for them if they have a doctor's note stating that they are too terrified of germs to do it themselves.

Combine a person who waits around for someone to open a door with someone who doesn't say thank you and you have a real asshat on your hands.

For Your Consideration

or Alternate Title: A list to get things going

1. Those dumb guys that park their 1995 Camaro in 4 spots at the mall. As if the car is worth anything at this point. It's a fucking Camaro. Trust me, you only need one spot. 

2. And while we are on the topic of parking, who is responsible for teaching the youth of Texas how to park? Because that person should be fired. Everywhere you go you see some guy in a truck parked in 2 spots because no one ever took the time to teach them how to properly park. (one of these days I am going to have little notes printed up and take them with me to leave on the windshields of these cars. Right after I buy a gun. Or maybe just some pepper-spray.)

3. People who wear clothes that are 2 sizes too small. Come on, let go of your college size. It's over. Please, buy some clothes that fit. It hurts me to see your poor clothes hanging on for dear life like that. In meetings I am just distracted by them...wondering if this is the moment that your pants are going to split. I can't take it anymore; I need to do my job. Help me!

4. Jerks that complain when you are giving them free stuff. Are you kidding me with that? I am giving you something. For. Free. And all I ask in return is that you shut up. 

5. Commercials that have nothing to do with the product they are selling. Maybe it's just me, but I don't see how a commercial of someone in a swimsuit could possibly have anything to do with selling cologne. I consider myself to be a pretty savvy consumer and I just don't get it. Therefore, it must be you.

6. Why are we still talking about the Janet Jackson/Justin Timberlake Superbowl Wardrobe Malfunction from 2004? These things don't happen by accident. Janet needed some publicity and that is what she got. Can we all move on now? 

7. People who write the CEO of a company to complain about a gift from a friend. They just go straight to the top as though your rant about a gift from a friend warrants that person's time. Trust me, no one thinks you are that important.

8. Celebrity baby bump watches.

Friends who are not really your friends

Yes...I am speaking to you Vaden.